Thursday, April 15, 2010

The Softer Side of Poon

This is Punski.  She is a 5lb. domestic shorthair. I'm sure you can already tell by her profile that she is an incredibly docile creature with a tremendously warm demeanor. Like most lesbians I thought getting a cat with my ex-girlfriend was the BEST IDEA EVER. I thought about adopting from KittyKind, but the pre-spayed, pre-vaccinated cats there were apparently too expensive for my father, and he planned to show me how I could get a cat for "free".
Dad rescued my 4-week-old wonder from some farmland in Stafford, CT. As an homage to my father I named her Punski, which is too long of a story to get into.
Since then you can imagine the nicknames she's been crowned out of irony. There is one syllable of her name, ladies, that was chosen quite pointedly as another homage to one of my favorite things in this world...
the Eastern European usage of -ski as a suffix for most surnames (obviously).
As a linguistics buff there was no way I was going to settle for Poonsky or Punskey. I mean come on now, where is the Adam-Lambert-ness* in that? So I went for the most phonetically correct transcription of her name based off of the IPA.
Punski Finance is a vethold name in Queens. Before her last visit to the Broadway Animal Clinic in Astoria, I had to call Trylon Vet Care in Forest Hills in order to have her medical records released. According to my new vet, Trylon had to fax over the records to them before they could spay her. I was already a wreck having my 2 year old cat spayed while she was in heat, and then came the phone tag. Finally I got a woman on the line who said, "Oh Miss Finance, usually we don't release records without the caretaker coming in to sign the proper forms, but since you're such a valued client we'll fax it over right away." What Judy was really saying was "Miss Finance since Punski is worth her weight in gold and you've already poured enough into our practice to put a down-payment on a Manhattan loft, there are no legal complications for you. We'll mail you a copy and you can sign it whenever."
Why did I wait 1 year and 11 months to get Punski spayed? Well what I failed to mention before was that the first time I held little four-week old Punski in my arms was also the first time I've had a flea jump all up in my sweater. My ex-girlfriend and I spent four weeks ridding my apartment of the infestation she brought with her. We also made sure we were home three times a day to give Punski the four medications she required for her double case of pink eye, an upper-respiratory infection, and worms (which she had gotten from the fleas).
So like I said before, getting a pet with the woman you love is the BEST IDEA EVER if you want your relationship to be tested in every way possible. Despite all of the obstacles we faced Punski got a clean bill of health, a beautifully shiny coat, two gorgeous green eyes, and two mommies who loved her more than most would have.

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